A Bit of This and a Bit of That

Finally had my appointment with the respirologist.  It turns out I have something called NSIP (non-specific interstitial pneumonia). 

 Apparently this isn't as good news as I was expecting after talking to the surgeon.  NSIP is not treatable except when it gets really bad and a lung transplant is necessary.  To that end, the Dr. has asked that as I am still young (bless his heart!), I should start seriously thinking about losing about 50 to 75 lbs and get myself a bit fitter.  This tells me that he does indeed see a transplant in my future.  However, he never really answered my questions about the likely hood of needing this or 24 hour oxygen or any other long term effects of this disease.  Perhaps he is one of those who dread telling someone bad news?  He pointed out a couple (or more) times that everyone who has this has a different response. In his defense, I really didn't push for answers - I think I was too afraid of what he might tell me. He also said that at a later date he will likely start me on some medications that will help slow the progress of the disease (don't know why he didn't start me on them now though).

I did Google for more information, but decided that I'm not 100% sure that I really want more.  If I know, for example, that the normal life expectancy after diagnosis is about 5 to 7 years, would I act differently than if I didn't know?  

I suppose losing weight would be a good idea, even without the 'just in case' scenario of a transplant.  Thing about that is, I have crappy willpower to lose weight.  I've been at this same weight (give or take a pound or two here and there) for a very long time now.  I really don't foresee my diet changing any time soon and as for exercise I don't know how I'm supposed to exercise when any exertion puts me seriously out of breath.  I will definitely have to keep this in mind and talk to my GP when I see her next month.  The respirologist said he would be sending information to her - I just hope she gets it before my appointment.

Thinking of her reminds me I really must make a list of things to discuss.  I'm quite comfortable with her and believe she won't pull punches when we talk.

I took my house off the market about 2 or 3 weeks ago.  I fed myself some excuses for it such as, I've gotten tired of the damned sign in my front lawn and having to keep the house ready for showings and I'm tired of keeping the house show ready but in reality I think I've just given in and think I'm never going to be able to go home to Alberta.  

With the combination of gloomy days, cold weather, ongoing pain and now the results from the biopsy, I'm just too darned depressed to keep the house up.  Some days it is all I can do to get dressed and feed myself.  Thank heavens for crochet and a list of items needed by Christmas - these keep me from spending the entire days sleeping or staring at endless videos.  I am still looking forward to my trip to Mexico but really wish I could find someone to join me for part of it.  2 weeks of glorious, warm sunshine and the ocean air will be a very welcome break, especially as for the last few days I just can't seem to warm up.  I'm just worried that 2 weeks on my own would be too much but, hell!, I'm on my own for much longer than that here in my tiny corner of the world so it should be a breeze.

Thinking about the trip reminds me about hauling the oxygen machine with me wherever I go.  I guess I need to consider the fact that it isn't going away any time soon so I'd best find ways to manage carrying it as well as other things, such as my purse, dog leash, shopping bags, etc.  After experimenting with the various size tanks and the small machine, I've decided that the tiny tank is the lightest of all to carry but as you can imagine, has the shortest life at about 1 hour of continuous use.  The mid-size tank has a 2 hour life and weighs a bit more but is still manageable to carry.  The large tank is only good for in the house as too big and heavy for me to manipulate up and down stairs.  It has a much longer lifespan than the others at about 4 hours of continuous use and is usable with a very long tube so I can put it on and go throughout almost the entire house. I could be wrong about the number of hours of use with the large tank as I only use it when needed when I'm in the house so it lasts for a very long time. The portable oxygen concentrator machine offers about 7 hours of continuous use with the 2nd battery attached.  As I only used it when needed, the machine lasted for a full day of shopping.  This handy little machine is what I took with me to the US for my recent bus tour and will be taking to Mexico.  I love the adaptability of the machine but it is rather heavy (about 9 lbs.) and somewhat noisy.  This is the machine I need to get used to especially before my trip where I will be carrying it as well as my purse, cane, carry-on and suitcase into and out of the airports.

I just remembered I had promised to talk about my meeting with my littlest sister last August. My next youngest sister (the one who moved back to MJ from Ontario) was here to help me out after my surgery.  As sisters are wont to do, we got to chatting about family members. My youngest sibling hasn't spoken to me since 2000 for reasons unknown to me.  This, of course, came up in the discussion as I was hoping B could tell me her reasons.  Anyway, during this conversation it came up that D was trying to sell her house and B had a general idea of where it was.  I put 2 + 2 together and by looking on realty sites, found her house and directions to it.  B and I decided to pay her a surprise visit and showed up on her doorstep late one afternoon.  I was afraid she would slam the door in our faces but she did not.  However, she also did not invite us into her house so we had a brief chat with her on the inside of her open door and us on the outside.  She did accept my phone number and agreed to call me sometime (which, as expected, hasn't happened yet).  I am now toying with the idea of showing up on her doorstep again to invite her to my house for Christmas. As she is Wicca, I don't know if she even celebrates the season.  Family!! can't do a damn thing about them!!

This is getting to be a rather long post so will now sign off before you are all nodding your heads in slumber.
Til next time!